Saturday, August 05, 2006

Dear Anonymous...

With regard to this lovely comment:

Anonymous said...
hey buttmunch.why don't you free up the next blog button? you some kind of blog nazi?

I am soooo much of a blog "nazi" that I really had no idea there existed a "next blog" button.

Yes. I'm sure hundreds of barely-cyber-literate people who use tools like Blogspot rather than something far more professional and difficult like WordPress with paid hosting are really blog nazis in disguise. And we're in disguise just to piss off random people who stop by uninvited into our personal space with intent to simply browse through and keep moving. Yeah, that's right.

And don't go telling me that it's not "personal space" just because it's published on the Internet. Your living room is personal space, yet you still invite people in to sit on the couches and have a glass of wine, don't you? Of course you do. So you allow friends to frequent your personal space by invitation. This blog is my personal space, and I welcome friends, neighbors, and even occasionally passers-by. But I don't invite the general unidentified public here, for the same reason I don't open my front door and stick a sign on the front lawn that says "Come in! Free lemonade and snooping opportunity!" So, Anonymous, I'm looking at you right now with the same look I'd give some person who arrived on my doorstep and proceeded to walk through the door, ininvited, and unidentified. Fuck your "next blog" button.

Now really, folks. I have to wonder if Anonymous truly believed that I somehow disabled this apparently illustrious tool that would take him/her through blogs that are not listed on blog searches, nor published in any directory, requiring that I provide my web address to anyone who comes here. (Which, incidentally, is often done simply by leaving links on blogs I love, thereby letting that whole community know where I am. I still don't consider that the general unidentified public.)

I had not disabled this "button." I actually had to open my blog up in a separate window just to see what this Anonymous person was talking about. Sure enough, there are "previous blog" and "next blog" buttons up in the top right corner. And, sure enough, they don't work because they are UNDERNEATH a very obvious linked banner that is impossible to miss. They are buried under there, and gone. And so is the opportunity to leave shitty comments without identifying yourself. Call me a nazi, you'll see a nazi. I've always aimed to exceed everyone's expectations.

It does make me a bit sad to disable anonymous comments, because there was an anonymous comment left for me a couple months ago that I really was thankful to get, and posted an edit as such. (Regarding my thoughts on Bob Enyart.)

However, I will not tolerate silly and offensive language by intruders too incompetent to even use capitalization properly. Had this person said, "Hey - the next blog button isn't working properly. Please fix it," or anything remotely similar, I'd have moved the poverty banner to the other side, thus freeing up those buttons. But this intruder has identified the type of people who use those buttons. The free lemonade sign doesn't exist, and my front door is not gaping open. If that makes me a nazi, well, fine.


Blogger Michaelb said...

My My aren't we the feasty-beasty!

Sat Aug 05, 10:13:00 AM GMT-5  
Blogger espresso bean said...

Um.... Yes, actually, I quite am. I wasn't always... but I have absolutely become this way. The transformation road from perky and too-optimistic-for-words to "feasty-beasty" would make a good post someday, actually.


Sun Aug 06, 09:18:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Yano said...

Wow...I didn't even know there was a "next" button on blogger! That must be a new thing...some people are just jerks....assuming that you hid the button on purpose!

Sat Aug 12, 12:13:00 PM GMT-5  

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