Monday, October 02, 2006

Thoughts about things like suicide...

The thoughts I'm about to share were inspired by the graciousness of Sue, who stopped by and left a comment here on my blog pertaining to my words on "argument 6" below. Sue's inspiring words were,
"The most dysfunctional, unhappy, mal-adjusted, suicidal people I know are from "perfect, two parent, mom and pop" homes. This does not in any way, shape or manner guarantee "the most happy, healthy and well adjusted adults". It is all in HOW you parent and not in WHO you have sex with."

Well, first of all, AMEN to that.

But seriously, I was thinking about this. Right off the top of my head with not more than 1.5 minutes of contemplation, I thought of four people who have taken their own lives. In vain, I might add. I'm sure there are more if I really think about it, but there were instantly four on my mind. One, the 16 year old daughter of a person I know. This one was very recent. Recent as in the funeral was over labor-day weekend. Number two was the latest high school drama where a young man hurled himself head first over a freeway overpass. That issue, and my personal views surrounding it, are worthy of a post all their own. But I digress. Number three was actually the very first suicide I ever knew about - our neighbor's mother. Number four would have eventually been a member of my family through marriage, had she chosen to stick around.

Guess what they all have in common?

They each had a mother and a father, and a happy, "normal," traditional childhood. Number one and two had siblings. Number four had two young sons. Number three even had young grandchildren, and yes, all her children were even happily married. (And still are.)

In contrast, if I try to think of the most successful people I know, it's a mix. However, I can think of four who did NOT have the traditional family life that the four aforementioned four suicide "victims" had. I'll start with my husband, whose parents split up when he was around 8 and divorced when he was 10. He's got great morals, perfect traditional family values, volunteers for good causes, has an outstanding career, and strong faith.

Before I continue writing with number two, I have to interject with the thought that just made my blood run cold. I forgot about my ex husband, who likely was a suicide too, but we'll never know for sure, and yes, he too had a mother, father, two sisters, full set of grandparents, and storybook childhood.

Anyhow.... Back on track... A dear friend of mine was abused as a child, the details of which I won't mention here, then moved to a different spot on the globe all by herself. She's one of the most successful, loving, accomplished self-made person I know. There's number two.

Three and four. I can't even type as fast as I can think here... A young man I know who was born to a drug addicted single mother who passed him through foster homes and back again throughout childhood. He never even had one stable parent of any sort for very long. Now he's a fine young adult with lofty ambitions. And... gosh, I guess here's four and five because both occur to me at the same time here, the young sons of the fourth suicide "victim" mentioned above, who are now grown up exemplary citizens.

In only moments of pondering, I came up with 10 people who do NOT fit the generality considered here.

I don't want to get too scientific about it and search for statistics, but we can't ignore reality.

'Night all! xoxox


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